Customer Reviews:
 Bought Product, Not Yet In Charge of World August 31, 2010
Dr. Inconspicuous
I am an evil scientist and as such wish very badly to rule the world. I bought this product, in fact I bought 3 of this product, in the hopes that it would help, but as you may have noticed I am not your overlord. If the half-pound of Plutonium I have recently ordered does not make the governments cower in fear then I'll probably give up and try to become a grain farmer.
includes FREE life-long trip to Guantánamo Bay !!! August 28, 2010
Skywalker
1 out of 3 found this review helpful
Within minutes of placing my order I heard the sound of choppers overhead. Before I could even stand up to look outside a canister of tear gas came shooting through my infant child's bedroom window. The first team that entered came down from the roof, causing $$thousands of dollars of damage to my roof. The second team that came in through the basement decapitated my schnauzer as soon as they entered the house. The third team, entering violently through the front door, tazered my children as they played a game of Risk on the dining room table. Immediately upon being tazered the twins both started having convulsions and pooping themselves. They were dead within minutes. By the time they knocked down my office door one of the deputy's was already done with my wife.
I was immediately gagged, tied, and blinded with a dark bag over my head. I felt a blunt force hit my head and the next thing I remember I was in a cage.
I'll spare you the details about the days, months, years of torture, pain, darkness, and solitude.
I just hope this message gets to you. So that you will make sure that you never order this item from amazon. Do not open this box, my friend. Save yourselves.
I just wish somebody could smuggle me in this:
Back to the Future: Flux Capacitor Replica Unlimited Edition
so that I can go back in time to prevent the US Senate from passing S. 3081, The Enemy Belligerent Interrogation, Detention, and Prosecution Act, which opened the ground for my infinite detention without a trial.
 F O R....E D U C A T I O N A L....A N D....S C I E N T I F I C....U S E... O N L Y. August 23, 2010
Patricia (Queens, New York, USA)
1 out of 11 found this review helpful
This tin of URANIUM ORE can be used for any number of interesting scientific and educational uses. However, the educational and scientific use that springs immediately to my mind is -- to SCIENTIFICALLY EDUCATE Ms. Sarah Paylin, (or anyone else who would steal our constitutional liberties from us), should she (or ANYONE else), ever be elected to the Presidency of the United States of America, by our fellow very well-meaning, but badly-led-astray, citizenry -- who will discover, with a shock, that the new President,
(whoever he or she is), is bent on taking away our Constitutionally-guaranteed liberties, in a way that even George III would never have dreampt!
To me, Ms. Paylin ("Payline"?), especially, (but not -- shudder -- exclusively!) -- represents a clear and present danger, even today. However, I would not seriously imperil her life, safety, (or Freedom), unless she were to gain the Presidency, and thus be in a position to imperil my own life, safety, (and Freedom!)
Of course, I may be VERY, VERY wrong about this. (How I hope I am!) Ms. Paylin may be as harmless as any other empty-headed politico. (I sincerely, fervently, positively and absolutely hope so!) But my "sixth sense", (the psychic one --
quite active in people born under the sign of Peices, such as myself) warns me that this just may not be so. Ms. Paylin -- underneath her somewhat charming, somewhat intelligent, sometimes confused exterior -- seems to me a person as hard as nails. With her, (or so my inner sense warns me), it is "My Way Or The Highway". With Ms. Paylin, you must agree with her -- or else. A book by Charles R. Allen Jr., published in 1966, (I will not mention its title here, to protect the more innocent amongst my readers), describes those places which are, to America's great and everlasting shame, STILL dotting the American landscape TODAY! Should Ms. Paylin ever become President, my "sixth sense little voice" tells me these places will be filled to overflowing, with those who commit "politically-incorrect crimes" -- even, probably, to the liking of Ms. Paylin's least favourite colour, (whatever colour that may be.)
However....this product -- a small tin of Uranium Ore -- does give me hope. It is sad indeed to think of it ever coming to this -- but, it may become the "underground's" weapon of choice, (or at least, WARNING of choice), should Ms. Paylin 1) Become President, and 2) Unfold, in her presidency, the stuff of my worst nightmares, (whioh I still admit may NOT occur. Oh, how I HOPE they do not!)
Should my nightmares come true, however, I am sure that one of Madam President's first acts will be to BAN ALL PRIVATELY-OWNED GUNS AND FIRE-ARMS. (This has already happened in England -- according to a VERY scary film produceed by the NRA. In it, even fire-arms and guns which are no more than beautiful museum pieces -- if held in private hands -- were destroyed!) Weaponless, the "average" citizen will now be totally helpless, without even gun-owning neighbours to protect him or her! HOWEVER, (heh, heh, heh!) URANIUM ORE IS NOT A GUN OR A FIREARM, in the usual sense of the word. Should enough of us buy this product -- and SAFELY store it -- this Uranium Ore can be used in times of emergency....if only as a threat. This IS a necessary precaution -- one must have this product, in case it is needed, however -- during ANY event which may take our cherished freedoms from us, (which may or may not include a Sarah Paylin Presidency.)
Why? Through my mind as I write this, is the scene in the original "Planet of the Apes" movie, wherein Charleton Heston, (as "Taylor"), is told: 'ONLY APES HAVE HORSES'. And, probably, only Apes have weapons, as well!
With the price of gasoline and automobiles going higher and higher, it may even come to the point where only the goverment can afford private vehicles as well. I F this ever happens, it is time to buy MORE THAN ONE tin of Uranium Ore!
One need not be a Boy Scout to follow the motto: BE PREPARED.
If none of my nightmares come true, I'm sure that these tins of Uranium Ore can be used for cooking, and other harmless, domestic purposes. (If so, be sure to get appropriate clothing for protection
when using!)
I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE WANTED MORE TO BE WRONG. But it never hurts to "be prepared". An easy way to safeguard our liberties is to VOTE LIBERTARIAN in the 2012 election! Ron Paul, (a former Republican), and Mike Gravel, (a former Democrat), are my own two favourite Libertarian candiddates. If you wish, read up on these candidates, and on the Libertarian Party itself, Thomas Jefferson said: "Eternal Vigilance Is The Price Of Freedom." He MEANT it. So, in my own humble way, do I!
DO NOT USE AS LUBRICANT!!! August 18, 2010
Laki Red
12 out of 13 found this review helpful
To those who may, like I, be inclined towards utilizing this product for raising more than just your Geiger counter, one and a half words: Don't. At first, the tingling sensation was quite stimulating, for both me and my lady-partner. The glow-in-the-dark properties conferred upon my majestic member number one also proved to be extremely useful, as the room we were in was extremely dark. Without my newly irradiated glow torch to navigate by, our merry-makings would have been made infinitely more clumsy and possibly even futile!
However, not long after these initial boons to my little goon, things took a swift slump, as what had at first been a pleasantly sizzling sensation gradually turned into a horrifying wildfire-like burning on my crotchal region. The once comforting luminescence became the sick glow of our flame-curdling loins. Picture, if you will, thrusting mightily your man-glory into a cheese grater which is also the Great Chicago Fire, and you would only begin to describe the hardship I endured. Water did nothing to quench our intense discomfort, and, in fact, as I vainly attempted to scrub this filth of a product from my infected man regions, I had to suffer the indignity of my once proud dangling nethers totally dissolving all together in my hands!! Needless to say, this has caused some grave issues in my and my lady-friend's relationship, and while I don't want to place these burdens solely on this product, I can't help but think that things would be better if we both still had intact sex organs. And also if we didn't both now have terminal cancer.
V. disappointed; would NOT buy again for this particular purpose.
Great Alternative to Plutonium August 18, 2010
Brett
6 out of 7 found this review helpful
Since the Libyans still hold the Plutonium I need for the Flux Capacitor, the Uranium Ore worked well. Only problem is I need to get the Delorian up to 99 miles an hour versus 88...no biggie.
See you in the future...or the past!!!
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